he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
