he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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