____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
