Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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