I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
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