"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
