WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
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