I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Randomize
