if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
