I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
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