what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
The best revenge is premature balding
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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