you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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