Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
