This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
