We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
