I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
