Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
