i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
