alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize