your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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