Me too!
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Randomize
