last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
