I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Randomize
