We're like a lot better than the average bears
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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