I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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