My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
