just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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