i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Say something about gay babies.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
