cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Vodka?
Forever.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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