or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
