I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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