This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize