I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
