Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize