dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
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