Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
