So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize