so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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