he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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