My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
