Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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