my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize