I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
