I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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