At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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