Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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