she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
