i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
