I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
