i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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