So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
