Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
