just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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