I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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