I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
