I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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