someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
