I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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