So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
