you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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