I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
