Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
