his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
