Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
it glows. i had to have it.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
