I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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